Made To Crave - Giveaway

My weight - it has been an insecurity and a stress in my life for years. 

Probably half of my life I have spent wishing that I was skinnier and that both the number of my jean size and the numbers on the scale were lower. 

I can't tell you how many times I have been on a diet.  I can't tell you how many times I have cried in a dressing room or in my closet.  I can't tell you how many times my mom and Josh have told me "Stephanie, you are beautiful!" and I haven't believed them and said "Whatever! You have to say that!"

On days that I am suppose to feel beautiful (my wedding day, proms, big events I've dressed up for) I can not say that I ever really enjoyed them because I was so insecure about how I looked.  To this day I look at my wedding pictures and want to cry.  I hate them. 

I have laid in my bed or sat on my couch watching Josh eat M&Ms, Oreos, ice cream and wanted to punch him.  He just doesn't understand! He has always had a skinny/athletic body.  There was one time when I tried to explain it to him and made him put a pillow under his shirt and look at himself in the mirror.  Another time I put weights in a backpack and made him wear it backwards under his shirt to make him feel what it was like to have extra belly weight.  He still eats what he wants.  (As I type this right now he is eating chocolate... and offered me some.  I just stopped and stared at him.)

Now, I have had a few small victories in the past.  I have had times when my diet was great.  I worked out regularly.  I went to the gym and did boot camp.  I started to feel good about myself.  I lost almost 40lbs after I had Alyse.  I was pretty close to my goal weight.  I was healthy.  Then I got pregnant, miscarried, and got pregnant again.  Now I am back to being frustrated with those numbers again. Since having Breeley I have lost 30lb, but I still have another 25-30lb that I REALLY want to lose.

So, I am back to the diet part of the cycle.  I'm actually doing a 30 day detox right now.  (I got some pills from my Dr.  I have also changed my diet - No Diet Coke, no fast food, most of what I'm eating is veggies and lean proteins.)  In a few weeks I am planning on doing a juice fast.  It is very hard for me to give up food.  I want nachos!  I want a cheeseburger.  I want Oreos.... but for now, I can't have them.

I also am working on get back to exercising.  For  me, working out is the big key.  It is also my biggest weakness.  Yes, I do lose by just changing my diet, but my body doesn't really change unless I work out.  And work out hard!  I know what I have to do, I just need to do it.  I don't like it at all.  It is hard for me.  Having 2 children makes it very difficult.  Getting motivated is also difficult.  But I have to do it!

My new support system is Lysa TerKeurst's new book Made To Crave.  I started reading this book last week.  I was crying before I even finished the introduction.  I haven't completely finished the book yet, but I can say that it I would highly recommend it if you are like me and have ever struggled with your weight and all that comes with that battle.

Lysa talks about how being tempted by food is natural and biblical.  She points out that women have been tempted by food since the very beginning (Eve - her temptation? An apple!).  Satan even tried to temp Jesus with food.  But what did Jesus fight with? Scripture!  So that is my new weapon. 

Some of my favorites:

- 1 Corinthians 6:19-20
"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own, you were bought at a price.  Therefore honor God with your body."

- Psalm 73:26
"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

- Psalm 107:9
"For he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things."

- Ecclesiastes 3:11
"He has made everything beautiful in its time.  He has also set eternity in the hearts of men, yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end."

- 1 Corinthians 6:12
"Everything is permissible for me" - but not everything is beneficial.... I will not be mastered by anything."


Those are my new weapons.  I read them before I go and grab whatever I am craving.  It gives me time to not fall into the trap of eating without thinking and it also reminds me of what I need to do and why.

(There are more verses that I am starting to use at other times too.  I will share them in another post sometime soon.)

Now, I know that this post is long.  I also know that it is pretty personal.  But maybe you can relate.

Well, I would like to give away a copy of Made to Crave to one of you!
It just so happens that I have an extra copy. 
Last weekend I was given a copy at church (Lysa TerKeurst goes to our church and graciously gave away a number of copies.)  Before I was given a copy I had already ordered it on Amazon.  So I thought that I would give the extra copy away.

If you would like a copy, please leave me a comment.
I will randomly select a winner on Friday.

* If you want to tweet about it great! If you want to become a follower great! But all you really have to do is leave a comment.

I can't wait to pass this book onto one of you.
I promise you it is an excellent book.