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I had a plan.
It was going to be the best birthday present for my mom!
It would be a prefect announcement to make to others on Mother's Day!
I was so happy and knew that this was it!
Josh and I laid in bed talking about it. Making plans and decisions.
I had checked up on my feelings but didn't really believe it when I read the results.
We figured it was a little early and I should wait another week.
Then it was confirmed again yesterday that this was not the time.
I was sad.
I cried.
Then I decided that I would just have to trust God's plan.
It has only been 4 months.
Other people wait years.
Lord, help me to trust in You and Your timing.
Your ways are prefect.
Psalm 25:4-5
Show me your ways, O LORD,
teach me your paths;
guide me in your truth and teach me,
or you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long.
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You may or may not know that we have been working on baby #2 for awhile now. I have gone through a number of sad moments because it hasn't happened yet.
I thought that it was going to be so easy because with Alyse we weren't even "trying". God just gave her to us and we were so happy. This time it hasn't been the same. I have talked about this with Josh, my mom, and a few friends about how I just didn't understand!
However, on Tuesday night, when I was laying in a hospital bed, strapped down to a back board, being rolled into get a CT scan, tears filled my eyes and I prayed, "Lord, thank you. Thank you that Alyse is safe! Thank you that I am going to be ok. And (as much as I NEVER thought that I would say this) thank you that I am not pregnant and a precious baby was not hurt or lost in all of this."
Laying in bed today I re-read this post. It made me cry.... again. Especially when I read the verse.
He really is my savior! (In so many ways!)His plan is so much better than mine.
I will just continue waiting on Him
"I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you." -Psalm 32:8
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. ~Romans 8:2
No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him. ~1 Cor. 2:9
8 comments:
Oh, Sweetie! As a mommy to two precious miracles who doctors had told us wouldn't happen...hang in there. You have the perfect attitude and outlook already--something that took for a little longer to find. Enjoy--ENJOY--your family as it is. Shortly after my son's 1st birthday I miscarried (again) and that day I found myself just standing dazed in the middle of the room. And Jacob came running up, threw his arms around my legs and said, "Mommy!" First time he'd said that. And it hit me--how could I be sad? Look what I DO have. And if he ended up being my one and only--so be it. You are so right--it had nothing to do with MY timing anyway.
You are soo right! It is his timing...I am sitting here thinking that if you were pregnant and been in that accident...YIKES. I am soo glad that both of you are safe and right on...in his time.... =)
thank you for sharing this even though it is very personal. I'm glad dori shared her thoughts as well. I truly believe that God has a plan for each of us and that the trials and discouragements that we go through are designed to make us stronger so that we can help others and strengthen our own faith. I don't even know you and I am affected by the sweet things you say on your own blog. i am sure others are as well.
You are such a good and sweet person, I know everything will work out for you. I feel relieved too that you weren't pregnant when you got in this accident! It truly is a blessing that you are all okay.
Oh, Stephanie...this was so good to read. Thank you for writing this...I don't want another baby but I DO know how hard it is to wait...and not receive...and then to look back and realize how good His plan was all along...
Love
Jess
Stephanie - my story is opposite of yours - we tried for months to get pregnant with our first child (Danielle) and I started to think we waited to long - I am 30 already etc... It was even harder when my sister and sister-in-law who were not thinking about having a baby both became pregnant. A month after we moved into our house we were expecting. I guess God figured the stress of moving and all the work we had to do didn't suit me being pregnant.
Second pregnancy (Joseph) I started in prayer when we were thinking about having a second and I said to God - We are not sure if now is the time financially or otherwise Lord but we will trust in You that You know when the time will be right and guide us. After the first month we were expecting and He must have been listening to me because all was well financially and all around.
I know it is not always easy to work on His timeframe but remember that His plan for us is a great one!!!
praying for you friend!! we went through a year of trying to get pregnant with our second baby (jordyn!!). i do know and understand what you are feeling. it is frustrating. God knows the desires of your heart. keep your eyes on Him! He will provide your sweet baby in His time! please know i am here if you ever want to talk about it, i would be glad to share our story!
Beautiful post. You're story nearly mirrors mine where my son came after the first month of going off birth control and then it took just a few months more than I wanted for my princess to come. It was SO discouraging each month my "ladytime" came, yet I have been blessed beyond measure with two amazing children. I can't even fathom how hard it is emotionally for someone to try over and over (sometimes even for years). You have the right attitude and though we've never met, I can tell that you have a home meant to raise children in. Good luck and God bless!
We went through a similar situation with #2, it definitely took quite a bit longer then the first time around. But just when I quit worrying about it and gave it up to God, it happened. This made me tear up a little, because I have been really praying recently for God's will on if there will be a #3. We haven't been trying, I desperately want another one, but there's some obstacles that we need to overcome first. It's hard to want something so bad. But God hears our prayers. He will answer in His own time. Thank you so much for sharing, and God bless you!
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